When my mother got ill, I didn’t realize she was sick even though I had been a general nurse for fifteen years. For several months she had been complaining of no appetite, fatigue, insomnia, and itchy skin and looking back I remember how depressed she was. But I didn’t notice any of that, nor that had she lost weight. One morning I called in to see her. She was disoriented – calling me Jenny instead of Merja, and her blood pressure was much too high. So I drove her to hospital. On the way she started having seizures and later that day she died. Diagnosis: renal failure. I had never thought about renal failure. At the time I thought she was just showing symptoms of ageing, and I feel very guilty about that. After the funeral, I went to the hospital library and read up on the Nephrology. Later I applied for specialist training and became a renal nurse. My mother’s death taught me how important it is for everyone involved in illness to talk and listen. It’s true for all types of nursing, but with renal nursing, most of the patients I get to know are chronically ill so I see them over long periods of time, and we have an opportunity to do a lot of talking. Some renal dialysis patients, for example, come to the clinic three times a week, every week. I am their first port of call for help with both practical and emotional problems and I am their main source of information on medication, equipment and diet. I frequently counsel kidney transplant donors and recipients, but because I know from personal experience how illness like kidney failure affect everybody connected to the patient. во